Maybe I Like Being Hurt?

I dunno what it is but I went so long being angry at Zack and then the anger fizzled out and I just started like caring again. Like he’s hurt me so much yet I’m still here.

So basically I got Tinder and was swiping no a lot and then I saw his brother and was OMG OMG OMG!! I didn’t think his brother would come but then he lives in a city quite near to my uni. So the girls on my floor swiped yes on him and we actually matched!!!! I think he must have recognised my face or name told Zack and Zack told him to swipe yes on me and see what happened cos he unmatched me when I didn’t talk to him. And then Zack called me the same night at like 1am when he has work and has to be up at like 7. But whatever. The convo got so we started talking about random stuff like how we were and stuff then convo changed to him somehow and how he doesn’t think he’s ever gonna like be with someone long term and stuff. And how he doesn’t think he’ll ever be in love. Was kinda awkward like I loved him and he was the first one to say “love you” and stuff like that like I would have never said if he hadn’t have said it first. Though he did always sorta pause a bit when he said which makes sense.

I’m scared his playing silly mind games with me and I just need to back the fuck out before I end up hurt some more…but like I said…maybe I like getting.

And Tinder is so useless ! I’ve matched two nice guys but I’m so shy that I don’t want to start a convo and so they just sorta unmatch me…which sucks…


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