Sooooo I took my last pill! No more fucking up my vagina and discharge..hopefully normal vagina behaviour from now on. I guess this is a blessing in disguise The Pill just didn’t agree with me and I haven’t had a period in so long my vagina is basically crying discharge to compensation not shedding blood. Nice image for yah.
So my “date” with Zack is this Tuesday. I’m so nervous…I’m trying not to expect too much from it I guess. We’ll so to the cinema watch a film and maybe get a snack to eat or something and then say bye and maybe arrange a meeting before I go home or something (maybe). I’m not gonna lie I really want to have sex with him but no that’s just not an option…not on a “first date”. I keep thinking that this might make him see that we should be together to but I don’t wanna get my hopes up so we’re just gonna be friends. And see where that takes us…cos I don’t want to but I still love him. He’s been a lot less off with me lately. I’m tryna be a lot less forward and eager but I just like talking to him. I have’t felt the urge to call him “babe” or “baby” like when we were together…which makes me think like these all stupid little things that society makes seem normal…and I think that’s where some of the pressure has gone…there are just two people having a chat and being friendly. And we didn’t really have that time to become friends…we just met up once and then starting seeing each other and got to know each other before…we fell in love while trying to be friends at the same time. So it’s like we’re working backwards.
Everything is going well though…I dunno how Ima feel if I find out that he gets a girlfriend…and wouldn’t it be awkward if she found out we were still friends and stuff and would he give up our friendship for her and vice versa I guess…lets think about that when it comes…I’m excited to see him though. I miss him…I hope he misses me.