I’m In So Much Pain…And I Dunno Why

So I’ve been sitting tryna write this post for hours and it just hasn’t been working out. I’m trying my hardest not to seem like a complete fanny. I have so many ups and downs when it comes to Zack. I still love him to pieces and I’m starting to wonder if this cinema thing is a good idea. I’m moving on slowly and I just don’t know whether seeing him is going to be good. What is all the feelings I’m working in losing might just come flooding back! I can’t back down now cos he’s obviously moved on and thinks we can see each other after like 2 weeks of breaking up. This is really the only reason why I’m going to see him cos he’s strong enough so I need to show if I am too even if I end up dying on the inside. I might actually have a good time…I mean sitting in silence isn’t too strenuous and the last time we went to the cinema he didn’t even touch me and we were together. Though this time there will be no kissing and sex to distract us so we won’t be late and this time there will be treats so we will actually interact with each other like. Ugh I think I’m getting worked up cos I just don’t know what’s gonna happen. I’ve given up every chance of there being a me and him…it’s just not gonna happen but I don’t even know if he wants to be actual friends or if he’s gonna break it to me gently that this is the end forever.

Only time will tell !!!!

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