:(

I don’t even know how to start this post. I’m so upset, And for once it’s not because of my boyfriend…though he has made me a bit more upset but he wasn’t the cause which is always a good thing right?

So anyways in my flat I have a chair in my room and every time I sit on it it goes right down, I just thought something was wrong with the chair but I got two other people to sit on it and it didn’t even move 😦 I’m just too fat for my chair…people always try and make me feel better by saying it’s my boobs and stuff but they don’t weigh that much so they should just stop. I’m fat simple as. I’m overweight and I keep trying to eat healthy and shit but it just never works…I’ve been going to the gym for a month and I see no change in my body at all…I don’t know what more I can do…just stop eating all together…how is any one even attracted to me…I roll in all the wrong places…my belly is so ugly…my bum is all weird looking cos I have extra fat on my hips…I look awful. I’m not much to look at facial either so I just don’t know. I guess I’m just fed up of always being the fat friend…it sucks have skinny friends…I would love to go to the beach one day and wear a bikini and not body sculpting swim suit. I’d probably hate wearing a bikini anyways cos of my stretch marks but I’ve grown to deal with them.

So now I’m sitting in my bed all upset and the one person I should always be able to talk to (Zack) hasn’t replied to my message. He’s always like how I should be able to talk to him about anything and shit but obviously I can’t cos I can’t pour my heart out to him cos he takes so fucking long to reply to my messages…even when I’m upset…there are obviously more important things than his upset girlfriend. Just sucks I guess cos I could really do with someone to talk to but ah well I’ll just have a cry into Minnie Mouse or summin and fall asleep…got uni and shit tomorrow so best get some sleep right???

Sorry about posting such a depressing post…just kinda sad…lol.

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2 thoughts on “:(

  1. HEY! hi! First of all i’d like to compliment you on your writing. its very free flowing and doesn’t feel fabricated in any way possible. Kudos on the good work.
    The best thing about packing a few extra pounds or being skinny is to realize that the ones who still speak to you or are good to you genuinely like you. The people who look at you and judge you are not your friends unless they meant well. So you are one lucky girl to have the few special ones as your friends.
    And yes there’s an occasional urge to get into shape and feel attractive. I totally understand what you feel. I myself lost 35 pounds to look attractive and got fat after 5 months of maintaining it. If you really want to lose weight go for aerobics 5 times a week and never stop. Hope you get everything what you wish from getting into shape. 🙂

    • Thank you…I need to just write what’s in my head…don’t really think about it so I’m glad it comes across like that :D.
      Yeah I guess I’m lucky that people don’t judge me and like me for me, that’s really good. I just need to have more determination in myself I guess…need to go to the gym more often and actually work out instead of just sitting there like a lemon and leaving after soaking up the atmosphere haha. Thank you for your kind words though and encouragement. 😀 😀

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