:(

I don’t even know how to start this post. I’m so upset, And for once it’s not because of my boyfriend…though he has made me a bit more upset but he wasn’t the cause which is always a good thing right?

So anyways in my flat I have a chair in my room and every time I sit on it it goes right down, I just thought something was wrong with the chair but I got two other people to sit on it and it didn’t even move 😦 I’m just too fat for my chair…people always try and make me feel better by saying it’s my boobs and stuff but they don’t weigh that much so they should just stop. I’m fat simple as. I’m overweight and I keep trying to eat healthy and shit but it just never works…I’ve been going to the gym for a month and I see no change in my body at all…I don’t know what more I can do…just stop eating all together…how is any one even attracted to me…I roll in all the wrong places…my belly is so ugly…my bum is all weird looking cos I have extra fat on my hips…I look awful. I’m not much to look at facial either so I just don’t know. I guess I’m just fed up of always being the fat friend…it sucks have skinny friends…I would love to go to the beach one day and wear a bikini and not body sculpting swim suit. I’d probably hate wearing a bikini anyways cos of my stretch marks but I’ve grown to deal with them.

So now I’m sitting in my bed all upset and the one person I should always be able to talk to (Zack) hasn’t replied to my message. He’s always like how I should be able to talk to him about anything and shit but obviously I can’t cos I can’t pour my heart out to him cos he takes so fucking long to reply to my messages…even when I’m upset…there are obviously more important things than his upset girlfriend. Just sucks I guess cos I could really do with someone to talk to but ah well I’ll just have a cry into Minnie Mouse or summin and fall asleep…got uni and shit tomorrow so best get some sleep right???

Sorry about posting such a depressing post…just kinda sad…lol.

Late Update

Hey Hey Hey!! So I’ve been back from Zack’s a while now I just hadn’t made the time to update y’all on our time together. It was good, I didn’t cover him in a million kisses…just one…I wanted to keep my cool haha. When we got there his flat mate wasn’t there which was cool…was like old times yay!! We chilled in his room just cuddling and shit…then was like “what do you want to eat” so we decided on McDonalds, I tried to get him to go for me but then I decided to go with him. But before that we had sex, cos I wanted to and I knew McDees would make me all bloated and no one wants to have sex all bloated so we had some great sex and went to McDee. Only down side was he made me bleed…he tore something with his stupid penis!!! So sex the next day was really fucking painful like it was all burny and stingy which was not fun! At ALL!! But it still felt good and thats the main thing right? So yeah we spent the day chilling with each other and playing this cool game called Ruzzle (which is like boggle but it’s not) Then his friends came and he left me so I had a nap and he woke me up coming back into his room. His flat mate came home and he went to chill with him and after a while I joined them was a bit awkward cos I wasn’t wearing a bra but it was alright I guess, then we went to bed cos he had work in the morning. I really didn’t want him to go to work but he needs moneys so I let him, though he was late cos I basically wanted to have good bye sex. He was only half an hour late which isn’t that bad I guess? I fell back asleep cos I was tired and made his bed and shit before I left.  I really wanted to steal his hoody that I had been wearing while I was there but I didn’t…I wonder if he would have noticed??

I’m seeing him next week Sunday…so excited!!!

And just wanted to say Hi and Thank You to all you guys that read my blog!! It’s nice to know I’m not just writing this for no reason. If there is anything you’d want me to write about lemme know :D.

Spiders and Shaving

Haha, I know my title is a bit odd but it will all makes sense I promise you little ones. So basically last night a MASSIVE spider appeared in my room and attacked me. My flat killed it for me…I love him for it and then another one did a spider check but I’m still nervous 😦 so anyway I was all in shock so I called Zack to hear some calm words..oh how wrong was I to call him…he called me PATHETIC and laughed…I’m still rather upset with him to be honest. No one wants to hear that their pathetic especially from their boyfriend so I got a bit snippy with him and that was that.

Though he was a prat to me I;m so excited this time tomorrow Im gonna be with him in bed either having sex or watching a movie!! I’ve done all my prep…I did a full vagina shave and OMG I thought I’d got a lot of the hair a few days ago but how wrong was I??!! I went really close and boy there was hair for days!!! And my bum bum was a bit hairy…jheez…pros and cons to long distance…pro: you don’t have to shave all the time…con: when you do it’s like a furbee down there and you risk blocking the drain with all that hair! But I might call him now actually…I said I wouldn’t but I wanna speak to him and tell him he’s a twat.

I Just Want My Baby

I know I’ve already posted that I miss Zack but it’s just really hard cos I guess I know I’m seeing him soon and I just want the time to speed up so I can see his stupid face. It doesn’t help that all my flat mates have their boyfriend with them this weekend. Sucks man. But Ima see him soooooon! I just want a kiss and a cuddle!!! URGH these few days are gonna be hard and now I’m starting to get super horny man!!

I want my boyfriiiiiiiiiiiend!!! Tis all!

I Just Wanna Cuddle

So it’s been like 26 days since I saw Zack and I’ve been an emotional roller coaster. I think it is fair to say I miss him!! Long distance is hard cos I know it’s like a 2 and half hour journey. So I can’t just go and have a quick cuddle and be happy. I have to wait to see him and stuff. Like yeah I’m horny but I can handle that; I miss cuddles and kisses and hugs and just being with him. I just wanna lie on his chest and be there for a bit, no talking just cuddles. I can’t wait to see him I’m gonna give him the biggest hug ever followed by like a million kisses. The days are dragging on so much I’m dying a lil but I know I’m gonna be so excited to see him when I’m on the train.

One thing about long distance is that you go so long without sex that the sex just feels so much better even if it’s average maaate! Can’t believe it’s gonna basically be a whole month since I’ve seen him. And one of my flat mates has seen her boyfriend 3 times in the past month and she’s getting all upset and shit. I think I have a bigger right, but then they have been together longer than me and him and basically lived together over summer so the change is a bit different I guess. Ah well.

Oh and guess who’s make on a pill. MEE it’s a cool one that has different amounts of the hormones in some of the pill, hopefully my vagina likes this.

Fake

So basically, like two days ago I locked myself in my room (my door wasn’t locked) cos Zack upset and then no one came to see how I was or anything. Then the next day I didn’t really wanna come out my room and I was over the Zack thing but i just wanted to go home cos I felt like no one really cared about me, like I could have legit killed myself and no one would have known. I emerged today cos I had to and still no one knows why I didn’t come out of my room. I could have family issues going on and they clearly don’t give a fuck. So Ima be civil and shit but that is where it shall end…I don’t need any new friends…my home friends are more than enough.