And Then I Remembered…

So I’m not feeling to good, I went to bed quite late and then woke up this morning cos my brother woke me up as per and I was in a pretty chippy mood cos I didn’t have a dream about Zack, then I remembered something and realised that I most definitely did. It was awful.

So basically we got on this train and there were loads of us…9and you know in dreams your friends with everyone…yeah it was like that). So we get on this train and then this girl comes out of nowhere looking upset and Zack knows here and it becomes apparent that they have a history and we sit with her and for the whole journey he’s cuddling her and shit and there’s me sitting next to them not knowing what do. And I found out they had been seeing each other like when I was seeing him, then we get off the train and I’m transported quickly into a bar place and a few of my actual friends are talking about how they’re all seeing this guy and it’s Zack. Then I’m at home and I call him and he’s like “can you go on Skype please” I agree but I don’t hang up and I hear him saying how he doesn’t wanna be tied down to one girl and he’s young and all that shit then he realises I haven’t hanged up. So I call him on Skype and he starts chatting rubbish about how I make him feel all funny inside and I’m not buying a bit of it. Then I wake up.

Like this is the second night in a row I’ve had a dream that’s related to him, what if it means something, like he doesn’t want to be with me, like that would explain why it’s not like official or anything but the thought really upset me and like I burst into tears it was awful I just feel so crappy like what if he’s really had enough of me…and yeah I know I should confront him but how do even start that convo…this is all too much for me to deal with. I don’t wanna have this kind of convo with him but I don’t wanna keep having dreams until I go bad. So I might have to confront him later on…when I figure out how to and I’ll keep you updated.


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