My Happiness Never Seems To Last :(

So basically I sent Zack a message like 2 days ago apologising about my behaviour and stuff and he was like “it’s alright. I understand” and then I replied saying i’d work on my mood swings and my communication skills. He read it and didn’t reply so like I’m like he clearly doesn’t seem to care I guess cos I’m tryna show I want to make this work and he’s just ignoring me. And like I think he might be mad at me, cos I told him about my thrush thing and he was like “who gave you that” and I was like no one it’s the pill changing my pH balance and he was like “hmm ok” then I told him my thighs were hurting from my night out and that night I drunk called him and I remember telling him about some guy Edward wanting to have sex with me and asking me for my room number and stuff so I dunno if he thought that my thighs hurt from sex cos sometimes when I’m on top and I’m proper going for it my thighs hurt the next day. But it defo didn’t happen. He’s the only I’ve been with for like 4/5 months. I’m just worried cos what he thinks I have done stuff and he does and sleeps with a girl out of spite…I’m also worried that he’s slept with a girl anyways but he claims he hasn’t and whenever we of the deed sometimes I do leave my mark…and my mark seems to be the only one there so thats good. I just hate not talking to him, like and it will probs last for a few days which sucks cos I’m stubborn and so is he. 

I’ve been so upset and angry about this for the past day but getting my emotions on “page” is really helping I feel calmer and more relaxed and I just want things to be good with us cos I really like him and I think we could have something really special, like he talks about the future but not like in depth it’s just little things he’ll say that sort of just slip out as like one liners in a conversation. The only suck-ish thing is that we’re not official so we don’t really have an anniversary…i think I might try and bring it up soonish like just drop it ina convo…or maybe when I’m drunk cos I need to know yah know….Anyways that is all for now hehehehe


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