I Miss You

So I went to the clinic, I decided to go about my pill, that was the main concern but then the woman asked if I wanted to get a screening down at the same time cos she was gonna be down there anyways and so I did. So it turns out I had a yeast infection and so she gave me some pill to shove up my vagina as well as some cream which worked quite well. She also told me that the change in discharge was probably my body getting used to change in hormone levels and I should wait it out, so I am. I also got my results back and they were negative, so I should have trusted him a bit more, even after I keep getting proved wrong I still have my doubts like why would be stay faithful to me of all people right? Like what do I even have to offer him?? Apparently something cos he’s still here 4 months down the line. I was gonna go see him this week but his little brother was down and there was just so many complications so I just decided not to but now I really miss him. Like it’s been about 3 weeks since I last saw him and like I just want to cuddle and kiss him, the sex would be a bonus but it’s not even that. I just wanna be held by him. I put him through so much shit and half the time he doesn’t even know it, I wish I could just talk to him sometimes but I don’t wanna break down in front of him like I did the first time he came to see me, that was awful. I’m surprised he’s still about after he said he didn’t know if he would be able to deal with my mood swings. I really do like him, I’m too scared to even think about the L word but my feelings for him are so strong I just wanna go home. I wanna see my friends, and my brother and mummy and him. I just wanna see everyone to be honest. 😦

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