So Now What?

So basically a quick catch up on my last blog post. Zach called me like the next day and at first I was so icy with him but then I warmed up to him. We spent like 5 hours on the phone with each other was really nice to just hear his voice I guess. So yeah I got over my paranoia…for now. I realised that the problem here most likely lies within my own insecurities and trust issues and that he’s a good guy. So basically I went to see him today and we did the deed…wow is all I’m going to say. But yeah i really did wanna bring up the whole “where are we…what are we heading towards” speech but there really wasn’t a good time for that…like bring it up before and it ruins the moment bring it up after and it just becomes a bit awkward. Like we cuddled and everything and he’s not afraid to mention me in front of his friends and that so he can’t me like ashamed of me right? Which is a good thing…cos like he could just be like “I’m with some girl” thats what one of my ex’s used to say to his friends and we were actually a couple…he uses my name and everything so yay! But he actually ditched me for FIFA like OMG we’re in bed cuddling and he ditches me for FIFA he played like 3 whole matches before I got his full attention. I was gonna sulk in his room but I went to watch him cos like I don’t want him to think I’m coming in between him and his friends…I’m not that kinda girl…I find it more funny that hurtful and he was speaking to me during the matches so yah know can’t complain. 

But back to the point…I like this guy…a lot…like a lot a lot and like I just don’t know where we are…are we friends, friends with benefits, exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend? you get the picture. Like I like things the way they are and I don’t really want to label anything…which contradicts what I just said…I guess what I really want to know is if he’s having sex with anyone else. Cos tbhh I like how we are…we’re just me and him and the way I see it…if you don’t label it then there’s nothing to destroy or ruin right? But then I would want an anniversary and since nothing is labelled how would one know? Ahh complications.

I don’t know when I’m next gonna see him, which sucks…I don’t usually tell him this like ever but I actually miss him and I’ve only ever spent like a week without seeing him at a time…I guess cos when we see each other we spend like the whole day with each other I get used to his company and like sleeping next to him and stuff so when I leave him it just feels weird and I don’t like it at all but today wasn’t too bad I don’t think I’ll miss him too much this time not until like 2 weeks have passed then I might to cray. 

Anyways this is a pretty happy post tbhh just rambling now. But any comments on the best way to find out what we are/are not would be helpful. Thanks.


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