I’m Fuming/Broken

So basically as usual all things in my life have hit rock bottom. Just when I though things between me and Ray were going well. Shit get fucked up. So basically today I went to school cos I had a sax lesson and so stayed there for a bit…all day…and anyways I found out that Ray has decided to go to that posh girl (Issy’s) prom as her date. After she asked like everyone and then approached him as a last resort! Like how can he even stoop that low for one to even agree to be her date. Like dude what the fuck!? And I was on whatsapp and he was online and she was online…no doubt he started the conversation…yet he doesn’t start conversation with me! And I saw him today and he didn’t even look at me he just sort of ignored me…as per usual. I hate him, he has caused my head to hurt for too long while he just coasts through life. And I wanna confront him about it but I don’t wanna seem weak and shiz. Like hell nooooo. I am strong. I just have a weakness like any other human being. Sucks though cos I wanna get over him. I need closure but how am I meant to get that huh…unless I tell him how I feel and have him crush my heart? Wonderful. 

And secondly I tried on my graduation dress and I just look awful in it. My mum didn’t add the train bit so it doesn’t cover my belly and so it just looks awful. I look all frumpy and shit, I’m gonna look so fat next to Rachel :'(.

I wonder if Ray will be coming to graduation…maybe he’s too busy getting ready for Issy’s graduation…where I’d like to add…he will not fit in as he is ghetto as fuck and she’s super posh! And she’s taller than me, which means when she puts on heels he will be shorter than her. So that sucks for him and her!!!!! 

Well goodnight no existent readers!!!!! Love you all xx


So It’s Been A While

Hey so although no one reads this blog, I thought I would apologise for the lack of posting. It’s hard to keep a diary and a blog I keep neglecting one of you and it seems that this time it was you my dear blog. So I am sorry for that. So anyways nothing really new has happened. I kinda bucked up the courage to start a convo with Ray and it actually worked like we had a convo for days and it wasn’t forced and shiz. There were times when I was worried he’d just air me but he didn’t. He aired me when I was least expecting it. Sucks really. But I’ve been on whatsapp a couple times speaking to couple people and he just hasn’t been on that much since we stopped chatting. Now I dunno if I’m gassing myself up but I guess I was big part of whyy he was constantly on whatsapp. And I went on on Tuesday/Wednesday and he stayed up on whatsapp with me until I was home…which was like 2…and he had work experience the next day…I was so gassed. So things are going well with us I guess I don’t wanna slap him so yah know…Well I’m off goodnight.