I’m So Confused

So I guess I have a lot to write about today, I was totally meant to write to you yesterday but I got a bit side tracked. Basically yesterday the old lady went off to the grandmothers and left me behind to do homework. So anyways I was just revising and stuff, like yah do and I got like super bored and so I stopped and watched TV, then like this boy, and for the purposes of this blog he shall be known as Ray, messaged me after like hours of airing me. I was kinda hoping that he would cos I wanted him to come over and jam with me. So anways we were just talking and stuff (I went to get a pizza and all that jazz, was soooo nice) and like I was trying to hint at him that I was alone but I don’t think I was making it very clear but like at like 12  I got a call from some next number and at first I didn’t know who it was but then I recognised the voice and it was Ray. So yeah we chatted about random stuff and it went on for like hours we spoke about so much randomness like King King and Fort Boyard it was so cool. I think in total we spoke for like 5 hours, we both fell asleep but I woke up and the phone was still on, he doesn’t make any noise when he sleep…bless him. 

So yeah I’m so confused…if you hadn’t guessed Ray is like the boy I kinda like, I don’t like him but it’s not as easy as being like I like him, there are some contributing factors…I’ll go into those at another time. So we chatted about the time when he almost took my v card. It was so awkward! But he made me laugh so hard it made it less awkward. I like how he makes me laugh though, like so much of the conversation was just both of us laughing and shit, felt so natural…he’s a great friend. And that’s like part of the reason I don’t want to tell him how I do an don’t feel is cos I like I don’t want the dynamics of our friendship to change. I hope you, imaginary reader, are beginning to see how hard my life is. 

Though I’d like so point out that he would be willing to come visit me when I go uni, so he says but that would so awesome!!! Well I’m done, going to have to quality time with my brother and maybe get some more work done 🙂 speak to you soooooon 


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